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I have a 7 1/2 months old baby girl. I also have a sister who is married to a guy and they both really like my daughter, she’s their first niece and they just want to be around her all the time and buy her things (they don’t have kids of their own). Problem is that doesn’t matter how hard I try my sister husband won’t stop smoking around the baby. We will just be having dinner and he would light up. Tried to point it out but he will say stuff like ‘well pollution is in the air doesn’t do any good either’. He’s not bad just doesn’t know how to be around babies too much. Suggestions?
I alwaysmove away the baby as soon as he lights up. Just feel bad about it.
Mike_T says:
I know exactly how you feel, I was in a very similar situation. I remember that I was so nervous at that time and I took it out on everyone around me. I didnt know what could I do until, thanks god, I found Smoke Deter. Now I can look back and laugh on myself and in the same time I remember how helpless I was. I hope that I'll never be in the same situation again
The point is that you shouldnt even have to tell him not to smoke around your daughter, he should have the common sense and respect NOT to smoke around her and it should be noted that secondhand smoking is just as if not more detrimental to ones health.
The next time he lights up take him aside and tell him very seriously that this is bothering you and pollution or no pollution you dont want your daughter exposed to smoking, if this happens again after youve talked to him grab your daughter and take her to another room to show him that this is really bothering you and if you have a good relationship with your sister talk to her and tell her how you feel.
Unfortuantely, I’ve found that if you are at someone else’s home or in public, your best bet is to remove your child from the situation. If they are in your home, then they should respect your wishes.
Tell him straight up DO NOT SMOKE around the baby!
TELL HIM THAT YOU DON;’T WANT YOUR DAUGHTER TO DIE OF LUNG CANCER.
Ask them to stop, or just tell them…i dont give a damn what happends to your lungs but i will not have you screw up my babys put the damn smoke out
Polietely ask him to smoke outsdie.If he does not go otuside, say"then please wiat untill later, for my daughter is too young to have smoke in her lungs.
Have them visit at your home. While there… make it clear there is NO SMOKING inside your home.
Is this in your home or their home? If it’s in your home, ask him to smoke outside. If it’s in their home, politely decline next time they ask you over. Explain why (gently) if they ask why you don’t come over anymore.
get some literature about passive smoking from your doctor and show your brother in law just what he is doing to your baby. I never allowed anyone to smoke around my 3 kids and if he cared as much as you say he does he wouldn’t be so ignorant.
Hun you need to stand up for your babys health……tell him to either put it out or take his backside out side……i would never let someone smoke near my baby….my mother always lights up next to her and i always say either outside or not at all….she has finally realised that im serious about my daughters safety. Hun please for your baby say something…..oh and pollution cant be helped his smoking can!
just tell him straight , if he doesn’t stop smoking don’t invite him around again , you shouldn’t want someone who doesn’t take other peoples feelings into consideration a part of your baby’s life anyways
Remove your baby from the situation at once. If you’re at the dinner table and lights, quietly get up, pick up your baby and leave the room. Later when you can have an adult conversation, tell them that it really bothers you and if they continue to smoke around your child, even in your house, they will not be able to see the baby. You have to be the protector of your child’s health. And it seems to me that you know how dangerous secondhand smoke can be to a child, even an adult. If you don’t stand up for your baby, who’s going to?
Tell him straight! If he wants to smoke then tell him to do it outside! Tell him that your baby isn’t old enough to decide if she wants to inhale smoke yet and that you are speaking for her at the moment! If he insists on smoking in her presence tell him he will have to leave the room or you will with your daughter!
You must be firm and put your foot down. Your baby only has you to fight for her rights. He wouldn’t be doing around any baby I had.
whenever you find him smoking, move the baby. Do this a few times. When he sees that he can’t the baby around him when he is smoking, he will definitely think of changing plans. Also try talking to your sister about this. It’s her husband after all. Also try to open up windows or tell him to step outside. Second hand smoke can stay in stuffed toys and other everyday things that you might not be aware of.
Well i am a teen mom of 1 and she is just a baby and people smoke around her all the time and all that i say or do is get up and say i am sorry i am going to get the baby away from the smoke and i have learned how to stick up for her and stuff and i guess that is my help to you!
warn them and if that doesnt work remove you and your baby from the situation.
just be more firm with him im a smoker
but i just would not light up around a baby
out of respect.
Tell him that he’s not allowed to smoke inside your home. If you are in a public place or at his home, then simply leave. Its great that he wants to be involved in his niece’s life, but if he wants to interact with her even more, he’ll have to respect your wishes.
*Don’t ever feel bad about doing what’s best for you child. I mean, what’s more important, your child’s health or your brother-in-law’s feelings? Who cares if his feelings get hurt because you leave when he lights up? You know what I mean? He’s a big boy. He’ll get over it.
If it’s in your home, then tell him to listen or leave.
If its, like, at his home then dont go.
Second hand smoking is serious.
Make him smoke outside. I don’t have any kids but I am married my husband and i do not smoke my sister quit a few weeks ago and hasn’t since she quit as far as I know but my mom does. Because smoke can stain the walls and lingers in the air he doesn’t allow anyone smoke inside even in the winter. Out empty coffee can with a lid out there and say I love you and i love that you love my baby but please smoke outside and put the ashes and butts in the coffee can. Smoking can cause problems because as bad as our air is teh smoek make sit much worse show him site sto prove this. Also my mother has told em when i have babies and bring then over she won’t smoke around the baby even in her own house. She knows how harful it can be casue my grandma died of trimanl lung cancer
PLEASE don’t let him smoke around her anymore. Its been proven that second hand smoke is WORSE than smoking yourself!!!
Maybe you need to sit him down and explain that you are serious and if he can’t refrain from smoking around her then he won’t be able to visit. Its not that hard to go outside to have a smoke.
It is your responsibility as her mother to be her voice and keep her safe. You can’t be worried about offending someone when it comes to the health, safety and well being of your child.
Good luck
Tell him when he needs to smoke to go outside, smoking indoors is against the rules period even if there is no baby around at the time…
I would explaine to them, bluntly, that you dont want anyone to smoke around your daughter. Tell them to walk outside and have a smoke. Honestly, as much as you love your sister, I would stop being around them as much until they realize this means alot to you. And if they happen to light up while you are right there with your daughter, I would say that you are leaving. You dont have to be mean about it, just explain that you dont want that around your daughter. Your sister will realize and will decide that if she wants to see her neice, she and her husband will stop that.
You need to tell him point blank not to smoke around your daughter and if he won’t quit you have to stop letting him be around her. If he really cares about her he will stop.
Don’t allow it. If he’s going to continue to smoke around your baby, after you’ve made it clear you have a problem with it, don’t let him be around her without your supervision. She is your baby, this is not ok, and he should know better. If he can’t respect you, your wishes, and the fact that YOU are the mother and make the decisions, that is a huge problem.
Don’t feel bad about taking your daughter out of the situation. OR requesting that they dont smoke around her even in their home. They need to understand it is really bad for her. If they can’t stop smoking in front of her then you have to not let them spend as much time with her.
Never feel bad about standing up for your childs health to anyone!
I’m a smoker and even if it was in my home I wouldn’t smoke around a baby. Ask him politely to go outside, if he refuses take your little one and leave. When he asks you why you left tell him that you don’t want your baby around the second hand smoke, and that you will not allow her to be around him when he smokes. If he really wants to see his niece he’ll stop.
i think its disgusting of this man,surely he could go outside for a quick fag.tell him straight sorry but can you smoke outside or another room.explain to him the harm/risks it could cause you baby.i would be deeply upset and would get my sister to get him to smoke elsewhere.it doesnt matter whether hes used to being around babies if its bad for a childs health he should understand and do whats best for the child.you do the right thing in moving your child away from him and you shouldnt feel bad he should feel bad
Hi there,
If it is your house that he wants to smoke in then ban it from the house! it sounds like you need to be more assertive and stand up for yourself. If on the other hand it is his house you are entering in, then you should put the baby in a room that he is not in so that you feel comfortable staying there, as it is his house you are a guest and he is entitled to smoke in it where ever he likes..
when my children started having kids they asked me not to smoke near them i now go out the back door to have a smoke when any of my grandchildren are about .pollution is in the air but you want your house free from extra pollution.my mother died from passive smoking she never smoked one cigarette.we all smoked around her it was like we all had killed her. i am sure if you tell them in more detail and express how much this is affecting you they should understand your baby’s health comes before anything else
First move the baby then start praying/spraying all around him watch him move…Then apologize and remind him that you asked him to RESPECT your wishes by not smoking around his niece;YOUR baby…He may feel insulted but so do you and your baby’s up bringing should always no matter how hard or offensive protecting her may be FIRST….Pray/Slay the harm that may touch your BABY…There is an old saying: Who no hear must feel!…..Blessings …….Blessings Yahoo
My uncle is the same way. He would just say 2nd hand smoke is not as bad as they say. Finally I told him…which was very uncomfortable for me….I told him that I would appreciate if he didn’t smoke around the baby, if not then I won’t bring him around anymore. He hasn’t smoked around my son sinse. Good Luck!