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I was ahead of my time when it came to realising the true dangers of cigarette smoking – when my eldest boy tried it at school I caned him and he thanks me for that today as neither he nor his brothers ever took it up and became addicted and are healthy young men today.
My daughter-in-law doesn’t smoke either yet her Mother does and my grandsons ask me about it because they see her smoking and think that it is something adults *may* do even though I tell them how harmful it is.
Don’t you think that my daughter-in-law should tell her Mother not to let my grandsons see her smoking (let alone telling her to give up the filthy habit for her own sake)?
Best wishes,
Joan.
Mike_T says:
I know exactly how you feel, I was in a very similar situation. I remember that I was so nervous at that time and I took it out on everyone around me. I didnt know what could I do until, thanks god, I found Smoke Deter. Now I can look back and laugh on myself and in the same time I remember how helpless I was. I hope that I'll never be in the same situation again
Yes, if the children can see her smoking then that means she is smoking around them. They are being exposed to her second hand smoke and as a mother of three and a non-smoker I would forbid my children from going over there if she did not stop smoking near them or where they could see it.
As for the 1st remark I would hope people were not allowing children to drink alcohol or coffee. Smoke is different even though they arent smoking it they are breathing it in.
Joan, you are a busybody and should mind your own business.
No, I do not think it should be banned any more than drinking (alcohol or coffee). Parents do not raise their children in a void. There is an entire society for them to deal with; they simply must learn their choices have consequences.
It should be banned but it not for some crazy reason. I think that it’s a battle for your daughter-in-law to fight with her mother. That’s not something you want to get involved in.
I am very very anti smoke I make my Mum change her shirt and wash her hands before holding my little man (3.5 months) I dont think she has a right to tell her Mum to quit as she is addicted and needs to do it for herself. She could however tell her Mum to go down the road for a smoke. Unfortunatley your grandsons are going to see people smoking eventually and this opens up the chance for your daughter in law to tell them of the dangers of smoking.
She is a grown adult and if she wants to smoke she can. Your grandsons are going to see other people smoke besides their grandmother, and they are right, if they choose to smoke when they are adults it is their right. You should just keep telling them the dangers of smoking and maybe they wont choose that path.
A recent study showed that second hand smoke causes damage even after brief exposure. For her sons’ sake your dau in law needs to tell her mother not to smoke around the boys.
After my niece, age 3 had her arm amputated for cancer, they were told she should not be around smokers, as the cancer would appear in her lungs next. My sis was telling a neighbor this, and right while she was talking and the baby with one arm was walking around, the neighbor lit up. Goes to show how ignorant, inconsiderate smokers are.
If her mother goes outside to smoke then good. but you can"t blame her. With all the money the government spends on campaigns to warn children of the dangers. There are still many a thirteen year old walking the streets smoking. I have been a reformed smoker and a smoker on and off for 20 odd years. My children hate it. My eldest does not smoke, he hates it, the younger ones are to young but they hate it too. it depends on the child and their attitude. But definately it should be banned around children.
Joan,
She should tell her mother not to smoke around the children, but telling her not to let them see it…..
They are gonna be out in public and see people smoke all the time. Children need to be taught and each time they question it, they should be told how bad and dangerous it is.
You cant wrap kids up in cotton wool, i am a smoker and dont smoke in my house or car..always outside and if my children come to talk to me, i put it out or move away a bit.
If you try and stop them from seeing certain things there curiosity gets the better of them when they are older.
Plus its not your desicison as these arent your kids.
You raised yours let your daughter in law do the same with her children.
i’m a smoker and i’m getting sick and tired of these blinking no smoking bans, yes i’ve had cancer breast cancer nothing to do with smoking. we wont be allowed to pass wind in our own house without being fined, man woman has been smoking for years they are taking awy our human rights!
I’m a mom whose middle child has asmatha.Almost every time I get around my mil he has an attack b/c she smokes like a chimney one after another. lets make this a little better here my husband is a smoker but for the health of our son will not smoke inside or near him and is tring to quit altogether but is finding it difficult especally around other smokers. Should it be banned no its not like thats a law that can be enforced but I do think smokers need to be aware that people around them may have medical issiues that are aggravated by smoking. I don’t think its fair to allow my oldest or youngest to spend time with grandma and not the middle but I know that he’ll have an attack because she doesn’t care about the fact that it sets him off. So the answer for me is not to go over with any of the kids she comes here and spends most of the time on the porch smoking outside and not in my home. As for your daughter in laws mom let it be its up to your daughter what people will do around her kids not your busisness.and there’s my 2 cents worth
Yes, a child doesn’t know that harmful effects of smoking and shouldn’t be exposed to it.
You can’t tell someone to quit, they have to make that decision for themselves. I do agree with you though. Second hand smoke is more deadly than actually smoking the cigarette. I don’t have a problem telling someone who is smoking around my son to walk down wind of us, or to go outside so we can breathe clean air like God intended. Your Daughter-in-law just needs to learn to do the same.
God Bless!!
I do not allow people to smoke around my children. If they chose to do it that is their right. But its my right not to have my lungs or my childrens exposed to it.
My mother chain smoked when I was growing up, and she knows I do not allow it around my kids.
Yes they will see people smoke but they also know how I feel. They are trying to make it against the law to smoke in your car if a child is with you….. I live in indiana.
No I don’t. I understand where you are coming from, but this is none of your business. What you daughter-in-law tells her mother is none of your concern. If you do choose to trample your daughter-in-law and her mother’s boundaries like this expect dire repercussions. Every smoker knows that smoking is not a positive habit for God’s sake. Suggesting otherwise suggests that the smoker is a complete MORON! "Did you know smoking is a nasty habit and that it’s bad for you?!" "Why no! I’ve been hiding under a rock for 15 years smoking away! I shall stop immediately due to the wisdom you have instilled in me!" Yeah, right! You cannot control what your grandson’s see all time, even though you might like to. Part of every person being given the free will to make their own choices is letting them make their own mistakes. Yes, you should tell your grandson’s not to smoke. You should also tell them not to judge other people, not to make rude comments, and to being loving and understanding. You could use that advice yourself.
I don’t think ANYONE shuld smoke around ANYONE unless those others are smokers too and they don’t mind it. I hate nothing mroe than walking down the seattle streets and walking through a cancer cloud from the jerk near me.
Yes, i just don’t think it should be done in front of children. 1st its setting a bad example coz the childs gonna think "well if grandmas doin it than its ok" and they might get curious, but also because the smoke is actually bad for their health (that’s if she actually smokes it near them).
So yes I think she should tell her mother not to do it in front of the kids.
Im seeing loads of comments disagreeing with this, but I just think it’s not fair. The smoker should go through this trouble of trying to hide it from the children, it’s not you or your kids’ fault that she smokes around them, it’s their grandmothers, so she should be able to control it. It’s not fair for your children to be exposed to this just for their grandmothers comfort.
And it really does influence children. My dad smokes and when i was younger me n my frends used to roll stuff up into cigarette shapes and pretend to smoke coz we fort it lookd fun, but luckily i can’t stand cigarettes now, but it doesn’t work like that for everyone.
I think smoking should be banned around children but not necessarily for the reason you think it should be banned. I think it should be banned because secondhand smoke has the exact same toxins as firsthand smoke does.
Sorry but whether we like it or not – kids when they take the jump into the teens will do what the hell they want anyway – my mum came from a family of 7 where both parent smoked 40 a day – my mum didn’t smoke and neither did four of her siblings – my dad used to smoke, believe it or not, from the age of 6, when his Granny babysat and actually gave him a couple to puff on, until 21 when my Mum was expecting me – this was in the 70’s – my sister doesn’t smoke, my brother did since 16 and I was 19 when I started – it had nothing to do with anything I had seen when I was a child – more to do with the lad I was going out with.
In fact, as a child, when we were at a late night family function and the grandparents and others were around smoking their heads off we sure found out about the smoke – our eyes stung when we tried to get to sleep.
I have told my kids that smoking is really, really nasty and that it is highly addictive – I also tell them that it wastes money and can make you ill, etc, etc, so please don’t do it – hypocritical yes but as said before they will do what they want to once the apron strings are cut whether they are around smokers as children or not.
Yes. Second-hand smoke can do a lot of damage.
You say your son understands the dangers of smoking, so you should be leaving it to him to sort it out without your interference.
Children shouldn’t be exposed to smoke espescially the very young and unborn. I don’t see much problem in them just seeing their mother smoke.
No one has the right to tell another person what to do to that extent. To ask them not to smoke near their child yes, but not to hide it. Smoking is a part of many peoples lives and my kids know it is disgusting through speaking with them on the matter.
So now you are not only putting down your daughter in law but her mum too. What is your real wish in life? To have your son and his children come to live with you so you can raise these children? All you will do if any of your attitude that comes through in all your questions is known by the kids is to turn them against you. A child will always pick their mums side in a battle and the way you constantly put her down will end up making the kids hate you. You reap what you sew.
YES! My god, it is ruining my life.
YEAAAH i think it should be banned!
ha i saw the title of your question and just had to check out if you’d managed to condemn d-i-l somehow…..laughably its now her mum as well…..poor poor d-i-l,poor d-i-l mother and one day it will be poor sad lonely joan.
Yes it is bad. And it should be banned.
Hell yes smoking should be banned in front of children. I have that problem with my mum and stepdad.
Oh dear Joan. You caned your boy? But you were so perfect weren’t you? I see that questioning your daughter-in-laws every move isn’t getting you the attention you thought it might…so you’ve decided to have a go at the other grandmother? I look forward to all the ‘questions’ about her…this is getting more interesting than tv!
I dont believe your daughter-in-law has the right to tell her mum to ‘quit smoking’ that has to be a personal choice but asking her not to smoke around the children or in their home is perfectly acceptable, as a smoker myself i always respect the wishes of the person i am visiting, or if friends with small children visit my home i will go out of the room to smoke ~ not all smokers are selfish & inconsiderate if you ask them politely